Uncomfortable Conversations

/ July 23, 2013

Older Couple EmbracingWhen speaking with my elderly clients I encourage them to have conversations with their children about their wishes.  Upon the mention of this suggestion, I have witnessed the change in demeanor of many.  I go on to explain what their children will need and how the administration of their estate will proceed.  We discuss how they can ease the burden of the process by communicating with their children or other loved ones and making sure their personal affairs are in order, including:

  • Having an estate plan;
  • Creating a contact list of advisors;
  • Organizing financial records, including at the very least a list all assets and liabilities; and
  • Making sure someone knows where all of this information is located and has access to it.

Several of my clients understand.  It’s typically those who have been through it with their own parents or other relatives.  Several, however, are extremely reluctant to share information, especially financial information.

These can be difficult and uncomfortable conversations but ones that are critical.  You have to get over this uneasiness.

I encourage my younger clients to be the proactive ones in communication with their parents.  While they are completing their own estate plans it can be the perfect time to approach their parents on the subject.  I explain that as uncomfortable as it may be, it is the perfect time to make the inquiry since they are undergoing the process themselves.

These are critical dialogues for us all to have among our families and can go a long way when someone passes away.  I encourage everyone to ask the questions of others in their family and start the conversation.