Second Marriages and Blended Families

The picture of the American family has evolved greatly over the last few decades, creating more considerations when it comes to estate planning. Blended families can be characterized in a wide variety of ways including, but not limited to, families with divorced parents, remarried parents, deceased parents, half-siblings and step-siblings. With the prominence of blended families increasing, contentious issues can be avoided through careful planning and open conversations.

Remarried With Children

For individuals who are remarried and have children from a previous marriage, you will want to establish a plan that will ensure children from your first marriage still inherit from your estate.  Typically, when a spouse passes away, everything is left to the surviving spouse.  But if the surviving spouse is not the parent of some or all of your children, he or she could take your entire estate and decide to leave it to someone else when he or she dies.  There are, however, planning methods to ensure that your surviving spouse can still enjoy the assets while he or she is living but, upon his or her death, the remainder of your estate will then pass to your descendants.

Issues of Guardianship

Another issue that presents itself in cases of blended families is that of guardianship for minor children.  When one parent passes away leaving minor children, the other parent has first right to guardianship of the minor children (unless it is decided that the other parent is unfit to care for the children).  However, there may be reasons, such as for familial, educational, or social purposes, for which it is better for the children to remain living at their current primary residence, which could be at the home with a step-parent. For example, if you have primary physical custody of the children and they are living with you, your new spouse and children from your new marriage, would it be in the children’s interest to separate them from their half-siblings to whom they may have grown close?  Would it be in the best interests of the children to disrupt their schooling if moving with the other parent required them to transfer out of their current school system?

While you cannot prevent the other parent from becoming the guardian of minor children from the grave, if the other parent is fit to care for them, it would be worthwhile for both parents, and any step-parents, to have the discussion of what is in the best interests of the children should the primary caretaker pass away.

Trustees of Trusts for Minor Children

Accordingly, if you pass away leaving assets to minor children in a trust, it may be prudent to appoint your children’s other parent, possibly your ex-spouse, to be the trustee of that trust. Understandably others could be astonished at this proposal – who would appoint their ex-spouse to have control of their money? Yet, depending on the parents’ relations, having a parent, even if it is an ex-spouse, be the trustee of a trust for children could be better for ease of administering the trust.

Open Conversations

Depending on your children’s ages, you may want to consider informing your children of your last wishes so they know what to expect upon your death; especially if there is a step-parent involved and the relationship is not cordial between that step-parent and children. By imparting your wishes and reasoning for your wishes, you will hopefully alleviate any potential Will contests or legal battles among your surviving loved-ones.

As we continue to rewrite the “norm” of a typical American family, so too can we rewrite what happens at our deaths. Do not be afraid to go against the traditional rules of estate planning but rather create an estate plan that is tailored to the uniqueness of your family. Only you know what is appropriate for your family and all of its members but by identifying potential conflicts, proper planning and having open conversations, you can ensure that your wishes will be followed and that your assets will pass to the appropriate individuals.